The Gastral Plane, Vol. 1

14 05 2007

Sometimes I fart. Sometimes I have my little voice recorder with me, and sometimes I remember to use it. Always, the recordings are shocking.

It’s like they’re talking to me—to all of mankind… through me. These voices don’t use words, but you can feel what they’re trying to say by their inflections. The Other Side clearly has a message and I seem to be the channel. It’s like I’m Edgar Cayce, only I can’t predict the future, and fewer people want to be in the room when it happens.

Now, for the first time ever, I am forwarding these mystical outbursts to their intended recipient: You. The following is Volume One in a million-part monthly series of messages called The Gastral Plane. (I may change the title later—if Chris convinces me it’s too silly—to something like Spooky Boot Toot or, simply, Talking Out My Ass.)

Remember: no words, just intonations. And don’t ask me what they mean—I’m just the vessel.

Vol 1: “But I just did that.”


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2 responses

16 05 2007
Beth

Guys, I love the new page! I guess I’m still undecided about the breasts and the picture of Chris pooping, but everything else is great!

8 06 2007
Mr Jones

Will Phirm be singing Phil Collins’ “in the air tonight” in next month’s volume? If so, Hard can counter bog…er, blog with a rendition of something from “hello, I must be going”.

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