Join Us… Over Here.

9 02 2009

Hello!  Ready for a link to our Facebook band page?  Too bad:

(I hope you said “no”, otherwise what I wrote up there—that “Too bad”—doesn’t really make sense.  Hopefully you were distracted by all the pictures and such at the new Facebook band page, and didn’t notice the fallacy.

Of course, if you did say “no”… why?  I mean, I know the joke’s based on it, but, really, what’s up?  Do you just not like Facebook?  I get that, I suppose, especially if you’re a hardcore MySpace fan and have been fighting the migration to Facebook.  Which brings up something I hadn’t thought about:  what if you don’t have a Facebook account?  God, I hadn’t considered that.  Well, if that’s the case, well… of course you don’t feel ready—you’ve got a whole bunch of stuff to do.  We’ve just given you a chore.  You have to sign up for Facebook—pick out a name, upload a picture, decide what you want people to think your favorite films are, &c.  That’s a lot to throw at someone who just wanted to see what “Hard ‘n Phirm” was.  You didn’t know you’d have to sign up for anything.  You were definitely NOT ready for a link to our Facebook band page.

But you know what?  Knowing you, person reading the Internet, even though you don’t think you’re ready… you are.  You are ready.  I really believe that.  So go ahead… click it.)


3 07 2008

Nerdist.comGood evening. It’s me, Mike. I’m taking a quick break from showering so that I can tell you about a website that you are going to enjoy, then bookmark, and then enjoy regularly. Note: I am not being paid to promote this. (However, if anyone has anything they want me to promote, just make the check out to “cash” and tell me which camera to urge into.)

For the past few weeks, my friend Chris Hardwick (member of television’s Hard ‘N Phirm (feat. television’s Chris Hardwick)) has been producing a site devoted to exploring and bringing to your world the weirdest and funniest elements that make up the Techosphere. It’s called, very simply: NERDIST.COM.

My two cents* — it’s very funny and it deserves your turning your life over to it. It’s taught me that underneath all our slick, hip, incredibly sexy surfaces… we’re all wearing dork birthday suits. (If I were a real writer, this is where I’d add, “So, leave that cool exterior at the door and get ready to join the Nerdist Colony.”)

Be sure to read July 1’s “Awkward Hands Calhoun…”. It’s great.

Nice work, Hardwick!

* which I received for promoting (thanks Mongolian exchange rate!)

HnP on “Attack of the Show” Wednesday!

1 04 2008

Weeeeell, I’ve been co-hosting Attack all week while Kevin and Olivia are basking in the warm Jamaican sun, but well protected from high SPF sun-block and a thick cloud of pot smoke. The producers were kind enough to ask us to perform (I swear I didn’t ask) live on the show and so it shall be. On Wednesday at 4pm West Coast, 7pm East Coast we will be smearing your analog airwaves with “Trace Elements,” our first country/science song. Please like it. That is all.

HnP Comedy Central Special Now on iTunes!

21 02 2008

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight here.

El Superbeasto

15 02 2008

About two years ago, Rob Zombie asked us to write a theme song based on his luchador comic book hero “El Superbeasto.” We didn’t hear anything about it for a while so we just assumed that he wasn’t that crazy about the song but was too nice to say, “Hey, that really sucked it.” It turns out this was not the case at all…having just returned from touring with Ozzy a few weeks ago, Rob called me and said, “Hey, do you have that Superbeasto theme song lying around?” Of course I did…in my hope chest…under a wish for an iPhone copy-and-paste function and a U.S. Alan Partridge series. The next day he called back and said, “Your theme song fits really well. Would you like to write pretty much all the songs?” FUCK YES WE WOULD. And so it is. Phirm and I are in the process of writing the songs for Rob Zombie presents: The Haunted World of El Superbeasto (now fortified with Hard ‘n Phirm). We’ve seen a bunch of footage and it is FANTASTIC. Flop on over to the official site or join the MySpace page.

¡Viva Rob Zombie!

Email List ERROR and New Album Info

25 01 2008

We’re jerks! We just realized that our email list sign-up form was connected to an old service, so if you signed up for HnP email alerts prior to 10:31pm PST, your email was tossed into a lifeless void that will provide nothing but loneliness. Please sign up again (we know, it’s sucky) to make sure that you can be included on low-impact series of electronic notifications re: live shows, TV appearances, new releases and whatnot.

Say, Last Paragraph, you bring up an interesting point: New Releases…

We’ve already received some emails asking about songs that were on the Comedy Central special that are not on the album or iTunes. We plan to “drop” those and a handful of others very, very soon, so we’ll let you know as soon as that happens (if you signed up for the email list (if you signed up after 10:31PST)).

Thanks so much to everyone who watched the show and has sent us nice words!

“Comedy Central Presents: Hard ‘n Phirm” Tomorrow Night!!!!

24 01 2008

It seems like only five months ago that we went to New York to shoot our very own half-hour comedy special and now good ‘ol episode 1214 is finally airing. Will it be good? What songs will they cut? WE DON’T KNOW! The important thing is that you watch to find out and re-evaluate our place in your heart:

Friday, 1/25
CCP: Hard ‘n Phirm
(though our West Coast DirecTV airs the NY feed at 7)
Comedy Central

Tell others. Pass on the geek of HnP.

Where’s the F-ing Music, Jerks?

29 11 2007

An excellent question, aggressive blog viewer! Our album “Horses and Grasses” was taken off iTunes last month in preparation for it’s ceremonious return to iTunes on the Comedy Central Records label mid-December. This is exciting because it means that the accidental rarity “Funkhauser” will be downloadable. It’s a boring story, but a big famous director wanted to use it in a movie and asked us to keep it off the Internet—the film ended up not getting made, as so many films do not in this town. Fortunately, Baby Geniuses 3 made it through the pipeline, though.

The hard copy will still be available on CD Baby, which just sold out and will have more in their warehouse by next week.

Blog Blog Bloggin on… Comedy Central

27 11 2007

Hey, did we mention that we’ve been writing entries for Comedy Central’s blog: the CC Insider?  We’ve done three (of four) already; the fourth will be later this week.  Click here to read them all, or, to make it more of a process (and thereby possibly more rewarding), go to and click the tag on the right that says “Hard ‘N Phirm”.

Note:  domain name “” still available.

Wired Science on PBS!

29 09 2007

I’ve been hosting a sciencey news show for Wired Magazine. It premieres Wednesday, October 3rd at 8pm on PBS. The official show page is here. Sciiiiiiiiiiiiiiiience!!!